In case you missed it (or you need another reason to fangirl), Taylor Swift recently stepped fully into her Lady-Gaga-defending, not-today-body-shamers era with a strongly worded comment posted to Gaga’s TikTok dispelling pregnancy rumors. Swift, who has been plagued with pregnancy speculation herself in recent weeks, was not having it.

“Can we all agree that it’s invasive & irresponsible to comment on a woman’s body,” she wrote. “Gaga doesn’t owe anyone an explanation & neither does any woman.”

The fact that this still has to be said in 2024 is both unsurprising and disheartening, and yet, it bears repeating loudly and often for the people in the back: it’s pretty much never okay to comment on anyone’s body—ever. Zip the lips.

And, for anyone in your immediate circle who still doesn’t seem to get it, we’ve created this handy list detailing the many situations in which making remarks about a woman’s body is just gross. Feel free to pass this along to *those* people in your life. 

Don’t Speculate on Whether or Not Someone Is Pregnant

If you’re debating whether or not to congratulate your neighbor, sister-in-law, or the lady checking you out at Kroger on their pregnancy—we’re here to help! Unless they’ve explicitly told you that they’re expecting, don’t say a damn thing. Why? Here are just a few examples:

• It could be a food baby: you have no idea if they’re actually pregnant or they’re just bloated from the bean burrito they ate for lunch. Ask yourself: Is this my business?

• They may not want to tell you: this person may not be ready to tell anyone they’re pregnant, let alone you. Ask yourself: do I have a right to force this sensitive information out of anyone?

• They may be getting over a miscarriage: it’s possible that this person recently had a miscarriage, and not only is their body not back to baseline, but they’re not emotionally ready to handle these comments. Ask yourself: will inquiring about a pregnancy feel good for them? 

• Their stomach may just stick out: We all have different body shapes. Maybe they don’t need you to point out their midsection. Ask yourself: am I just being an asshole?

This logic also applies to social media. Let Gaga and Swift tell us if and when they ever decide to get pregnant. Until then, feel free to speculate about whether BigFoot is real or any other non-body-shaming-related topics that strike your fancy, but leave our bodies alone.

Don’t Comment on How Big—or Small—Someone’s Baby Bump Looks

We get it, pregnant bodies are fascinating. It’s pretty incredible that the abdomen can grow and stretch to its absolute max in order to make room for a tiny human. Still, not all bumps are created equal, and not all women are comfortable with the same level of attention on their body, pregnant or not. 

Consider this: being told you look like you’re ready to pop when you’re only in your second trimester probably isn’t helping. And while commenting on how small someone’s bump looks may seem like a compliment, it can be triggering for a couple of reasons. One, it may make the pregnant person anxious that something is actually wrong with their pregnancy. Two, if they struggle with body image issues, they may start to hyper fixate on the size of their bump.

So, the next time you feel the urge to tell a pregnant person your thoughts on their body, follow this simple rule: just don’t. 

Don’t Mention If You Think a Pregnant Person’s Face, Boobs, Or Other Body Part Looks Fuller

Part of going through pregnancy is that your body changes. You gain weight (you’re supposed to!), your boobs get bigger, your feet get flatter, your face looks fuller, and a whole host of other things happen. The body is going through a massive transformation, and while the pregnant person may be on board with having a baby, it can still be hard for them to watch their body change so much. 

That’s why if you notice that your friend’s sister’s normal A-cups look like they’ve leveled up to DDs, no need to comment. She most definitely already knows. 

Don’t Bring to a New Mom’s Attention That Her Postpartum Belly Isn’t Flat or Looks Different

We need to normalize postpartum bellies, mom pooches, and bodies. Period. If a woman doesn’t have a flat stomach after giving birth, that’s okay. If she never had a flat stomach, even before pregnancy, that’s okay. If her body went back to looking exactly the way it was before pregnancy, that’s okay. We are all so different—we have different genetics, different lifestyle habits, different health histories and medical conditions, so why would we all be expected to look the same way? Especially after rearranging our entire body to accommodate a baby and then doing whatever it takes to get said baby out, how could anything be the same ever again?!

Women—and women’s bodies—should be celebrated for carrying and birthing a child, not shamed. But since that’s probably a long way away, let’s just start by not saying anything about it at all, thanks. 

Don’t Talk About Whether Someone’s Postpartum Weight Seems to Be Higher or Lower 

This is a difficult one to break, particularly for older generations still entrenched in toxic diet culture, but focusing on a postpartum woman’s weight is always a hard no. Fixating on weight loss advice may feel harmless and helpful to you, but we’re here to tell you it’s not. You’re telling someone—and most likely someone you love—that their biggest priority, in the midst of birthing a child and becoming a mom, is their weight. Stop it. 

If you can’t seem to hold your tongue, don’t be surprised if you get hit with one of these strategies for silencing anyone who can’t seem to shut up about women’s postpartum weight. 

Here’s a Thought: Just Stop Making Body Comments In General 

There’s one pretty easy solution to all of this, but it requires you to dig deep and access a part of you that’s clearly been neglected: your self-restraint. Make a habit of not commenting on anyone’s body or weight, and you won’t have to deal with highly emotional pregnant people, raged-out moms just doing their best, or the wrath of Taylor Swift.